the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
