Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
