Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
