It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
