Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just puked most of my soul out..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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