Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
