12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Let's paint friendship bongs
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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