Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Randomize
