so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
