You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
