Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
