He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
