it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
