heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Drunk is a universal language darling
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
