am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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