we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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