I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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