There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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