I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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