i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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