Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
