Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
