I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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