But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
