This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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