I wish I could punch you in the face.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
