Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
you made out with another girl for some wings
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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