we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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