If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
