he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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