We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
