I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
