I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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