Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
