I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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