Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
