I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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