I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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