Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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