I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
