and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
