I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just google imaged poop.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
