The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
