We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
