I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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