Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
