This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
