too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
