idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
