If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
