I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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