i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
