We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
